But the closer I got to the date the less it bothered me. For one I didn't think about it too much, but when I did I realized that after he was born came the harsh reality that my whole life would be lived without him. And it's only without him here physically. And sometimes that hurts more than others. Sometimes I ache for the little boy I never got to know. But he's with me all the time regardless of if he's standing (or crawling) in front of me. He's in my heart for the rest of my life and that's something that nine months or nine years can't change.
"Before you were born I carried you under my heart. From the moment you arrived in this world until the moment I leave it, I will always carry you in my heart."